pimblr.com

THANKFULLY, it’s not April 1 today. It’s not April Fool’s Day and no one is going to be playing any practical jokes around these parts.
The Diary has never been particularly fond of such silliness. Perhaps that’s got something to do with our bluff northern approach to life.
Or maybe it’s because we’re always the butt of said jokes. Either way, we’ll be keeping our head down tomorrow.
And it seems we won’t be the only one doing so. People around these parts are far less likely to be caught red-handed preparing a hilarious practical jape than their countrymen in other parts.
How do we know this? Because - as they are wont to do at the slightest sniff of some free column inches - a PR company has sent us a set of delectable survey results proving the point beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Apparently, 44 per cent of people in the North East - no, we don’t know what happened to Yorkshire either - seldom or never play tricks on each other.
Now, you might think that is an admirable trait. But, according to these PR bods, “a little bit of innocent mischief-making has been scientifically proven to be good for us”.
A timid 60 per cent of those non-pranksters said the main reason for their abstention from joke-playing was that they were worried a prank might misfire or make them look foolish.
And the research revealed all hope was lost for the likes of the Diary - age comes into play when it comes to pranks, and our appreciation of them begins to go into terminal decline at 41.
This survey has been complemented with a scientific trial by an independent research consultancy. Said consultancy discovered - and pay attention here because this is earth-shattering - that innocent mischief, in the form of a prank or practical joke, was shown to have “enjoyable and positive physiological benefits”. Which is a tautological way of saying it’s fun and that fun is good for your body.

yorkpress.co.uk

These findings suggest a causal relationship between a low free testosterone concentration, which declines more markedly than total testosterone, and depression in older men, Dr. Almeida and colleagues said. Restoring physiologic concentrations of testosterone might improve mood and reduce depression, they added.
The study included almost 4,000 eligible men, ages 71 to 89, enrolled from May 1996 to Dec, 24, 1998. From June 2001 through October 2004, the men were given a follow-up assessment. This included completing a questionnaire with information about demographic and health history, as well as depression and cognitive tests.

medpagetoday.com

On Monday, the NYT’s Paul Krugman wrote some fair criticism of all three presidential candidates: they’re talking about the economy in general, but they aren’t sufficiently addressing the ongoing fiscal crisis. More importantly, they aren’t offering the kinds of regulations the system needs.
Now, the shadow banking system is facing the 21st-century equivalent of the wave of bank runs that swept America in the early 1930s. And the government is rushing in to help, with hundreds of billions from the Federal Reserve, and hundreds of billions more from government-sponsored institutions like Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and the Federal Home Loan Banks.
Given the risks to the economy if the financial system melts down, this rescue mission is justified. But you don’t have to be an economic radical, or even a vocal reformer like Representative Barney Frank, the chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, to see that what’s happening now is the quid without the quo.
Last week Robert Rubin, the former Treasury secretary, declared that Mr. Frank is right about the need for expanded regulation. Mr. Rubin put it clearly: If Wall Street companies can count on being rescued like banks, then they need to be regulated like banks. […]
[Clinton and Obama] are running more or less populist campaigns. But at least so far, neither Democrat has made a clear commitment to financial reform.
It looks like the Obama campaign got the message. The senator delivered a speech at Cooper Union in NYC this morning on the economy, specifically emphasizing “legal reforms needed to establish a 21st century regulatory system.”
From a purely political perspective, I’d just add that Obama did so a) while exposing the disaster of Bush’s economic policies; b) trashing McCain’s speech on the economy from Tuesday; and c) without mentioning Hillary Clinton, in any context, even once.

thecarpetbaggerreport.com

Through the years we’ve watched Lara Flynn Boyle’s pout swell with bee-stung perfection. But in new photos taken over the weekend, the actress’ entire face appears swollen while her waistline remains as itty bitty as ever.
Outside Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills on Saturday, Lara — who famously dated megastar Jack Nicholson — signed autographs for waiting fans. And while her famously trim body hasn’t changed — she appeared trim in a tan pantsuit — her face was puffy and barely recognizable.
Do you think this is a case of plastic surgery gone wrong? Should we mind our own business? Weigh in below.
Plus: For more on celebrity plastic surgery, check out the Knifestyles of the Rich & Famous column in Star.
Yes, mind your own business. Wait, this is a tabloid, youre supposed to get into other people’s business. Stupid me.

starmagazine.com

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -Brett Myers would rather throw the last pitch than first one. He has to go the distance to do both in the season opener.
The starter-turned-closer-turned-starter will make his second consecutive opening-day start when the Philadelphia Phillies host the Washington Nationals on Monday at Citizens Bank Park.
Myers was picked over All-Star Cole Hamels by manager Charlie Manuel last month for the assignment. In a way, it was a reward for his willingness to move to the bullpen for the first time in his career last year.
“I came in thinking I was the No. 2 guy,” Myers said. “The way Hamels pitched last year, I figured he was the No. 1 guy.”
Myers paused a bit, then offered his scenario in a perfect world.
“Hamels is going to do it for a long time, especially when I go back to the bullpen,” he said.
Maybe next year. For now, Myers and Hamels are the 1-2 punch the Phillies hope can match up to the New York Mets’ duo of Johan Santana and Pedro Martinez.
The Phillies overcame a poor start and a slew of injuries to surpass the Mets in the final weekend last season. They clinched their first division title in 14 years with a victory over the Nationals on the final day of the regular season.
It was Myers striking out Wily Mo Pena to end the game and set off a wild celebration. Then the Fightin’ Phils promptly got swept by Colorado in a first-round series.
Myers thrived in the bullpen, finishing with 21 saves in 24 chances. He made no secret that he loved the closer’s role. But the Phillies put him back in the rotation after acquiring Brad Lidge from Houston. Lidge will start the season on the disabled list, giving Tom Gordon a chance to finish games again.

sportsillustrated.cnn.com

A victorious run over the past two weeks has helped the Indiana Pacers climb the Eastern Conference standings. Getting Jermaine O’Neal back can only help their cause.
The surging Pacers will have O’Neal on the court for the first time in over two months on Monday when they conclude their season series with the league-worst Miami Heat.
Indiana (30-43) is seeking to return to the playoffs for the 10th time in 11 seasons after missing out in 2006-07, but saw their chances dim after going 6-11 from Feb. 6-March 15 — a stretch with O’Neal on the sidelines.
O’Neal averaged 15.3 points, 7.3 rebounds and 2.2 blocks in 33 games before leaving in the first quarter Jan. 16 against Golden State with a bone bruise on his left knee.
He returns to a Pacers team that has won five of its last seven, including a 123-115 home victory over New Jersey on Friday.
Danny Granger scored 26 points while Troy Murphy added 21 and 17 rebounds for Indiana, which moved within three games of Atlanta for the eighth playoff spot in the East.
The Pacers have nine games remaining, including six against teams that are currently below .500.
“We must continue to play at this level and not let up,” said Murphy, who is averaging 18.2 points and 11.8 boards in his last six games. “On the next two or three days, we need to relax, keep our game faces on and get ready for the rest of the season. We will take them game by game.”
Although the Pacers have allowed 113.4 points per game over the past five contests, they held New Jersey to 8-for-24 shooting in the fourth quarter.
“We defended at a really high level in the second half,” Pacers coach Jim O’Brien said. “I thought our defense won this game for us.”

sports.espn.go.com

WASHINGTON, March 28 (UPI) — U.S. President George Bush is to throw the Washington Nationals’ first pitch of the season to team manager Manny Acta, instead of catcher Paul Lo Duca.
The decision to have Acta catch the ball was possibly made in an effort to avoid an uncomfortable circumstance between Lo Duca and Bush, who condemned the use of steroids in his State of the Union Address in 2004, The Washington Times reported. Lo Duca was surrounded with steroid allegations during the Mitchell Report’s probe of Major League Baseball steroid use, released Dec. 13, 2007.
“I’m not catching the first pitch. It has nothing to do with the Mitchell Report,” Lo Duca said Wednesday.
Lo Duca was accused of paying $3,200 for steroids while he played for the Los Angeles Dodgers and Florida Marlins.
Bush’s pitch to Acta will be the second out of six ceremonial first Nationals pitches he’s thrown to someone other than the team’s catcher.

upi.com

Posted by Butler Shaffer at March 31, 2008 10:45 AM
CNN just had two back-to-back news reports. The first told of Aloha Airlines terminating all of its passenger service, due to financial difficulties. The second story told of the efforts of the U.S. and many European governments to eliminate the restrictions on airlines from one country flying to another. Now, CNN chirped, an American airline could schedule flights from New York to London as freely as it now flies from New York to Chicago. European airlines could schedule flights from London to Los Angeles with the same facility.
These reports could have provided CNN the opportunity to explain to viewers how the present plight of many airlines - as well as other businesses - stems from the restrictive and costly consequences of government regulation. What was presented as a creative effort by Western governments to deal with airline difficulties amounted to nothing more than the “bold” effort to enhance profitability by having governments get out of the way of those seeking profits!
What, instead, did CNN report on immediately after these two? The story of a dog that had been thrown off an overpass and survived!

lewrockwell.com

Beth Phoenix appeared on the Kidd Chris radio show in Philadelphia today and seemed pretty uncomfortable doing the interview. They got her to admit that she lost her virginity at 18 but she wouldn’t say how many people she has slept with and tried to stay in character most of the time.
Sabu will be doing a special autograph signing on 4/6 at the Wrestling Universe store in Queens, New York. For more info call 718-746-0010.
WWE.com has posted details on this year’s Bacon, Bagels, and Biceps Brunch occurring the morning of WrestleMania. The brunch will be presented by WWE and the David Maus Foundation and will include several WWE superstar appearances as well as an appearance by actress Raven-Symon

Keo.co.za brings you the top stories from the Australian franchises.
Europe beckons for Henjak
Disgraced Australia scrumhalf Matt Henjak looks set to sign for a European club next season.
Henjak lost his Force contract after an alcohol-fuelled brawl in which team-mate Haig Sare suffered a broken jaw. He is currently without a franchise but is confident that he’ll continue his career in Europe.
“I’ve had three or four top European clubs express interest in me for the next northern hemisphere season,” Henjak said in a statement through his manager Greg Keenan. “My agent is in discussions with those clubs and hopefully something will get worked out in the not too distant future. I would have to head to Europe in July to commence pre-season training. In the meantime, I’m training hard so that when an opportunity presents itself I’ll be ready.”
McKenzie under fire
Waratahs coach Ewen McKenzie has three matches to hold onto his job.
The Waratahs lost badly to the Crusaders at the weekend, and despite having won three of their five matches to date, the Tahs’ board are believed to be disappointed in their overall performances.
NSW Rugby Union chairman Arvid Petersen told the Sydney Morning Herald: “We’ve tried to be pretty transparent with the coaching staff. Jim and Ewan have a very good understanding that it is an important year for all of us. The performance of the last year and a half hasn’t been as good as it should be. We’re the strongest union in this country, and our fans expect us to do better. Everyone involved with NSW Rugby has an expectation that we are going to perform at the top of the competition each year. So everyone is looking for these next few matches to set the tone for the year.
“I don’t think we are going well enough yet,” Petersen continued. “I think we’re genuinely still in the hunt, and the next five matches, in particular the next three games, will set the tone for our season. We will see how well we are placed during this period when we come up against Auckland and the Force, who are playing remarkably well. Winning is what it is all about. And obviously we will take any kind of a win we can get. I think we’re still waiting to see the emergence of a more entertaining and attacking style of rugby. We haven’t quite seen that yet.

keo.co.za