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IF THE story had broken today and not last week, most of us would have laughed it off as another April Fool’s Day media spoof.
“World’s First Pregnant Man,” said the headlines. And beside them was a picture of a naked and bearded Thomas Beatie, with a stomach bulge that could be a pregnancy - or just the first signs of a serious Guinness habit.
The poor man - or woman - says his family have been mostly unsupportive and even doctors and nurses have laughed in front of him.
No, it can’t be easy being the World’s First Pregnant Man. But imagine what it’s like being the World’s First Pregnant Man’s best mate?
Think about it. What if your best pal suddenly put his pint down, looked you straight in the eye and said: “Hey big man, I think I’m up the duff.”
I don’t know who Thomas Beatie hangs out with over in Oregon, but, if he’s really a regular guy, his mates will need as much professional help as he does.
Over a lifetime and a tsunami of swally, I’ve counselled pub mates through every problem life could throw at them.
Marital disputes, sexual hang-ups, financial strife - Big Boab’s psychiatric bar stool has heard them all. My finest hour was probably the day I talked Freakie Freddie out of committing suicide because he thought Attila, his monster pet Alsatian dog, was gay.
“I saw it with my own eyes, he was humping wee Bertie the beagle next door,” he wailed. “My Attila is… Jackie Trent.”
It took all my persuasive skills to convince him that Attila wasn’t, as he would say, “bent”.
It was only after I explained that dogs can do it with everything from a cushion to a human leg that Freakie began to calm down.

dailyrecord.co.uk