pimblr.com

IF THE story had broken today and not last week, most of us would have laughed it off as another April Fool’s Day media spoof.
“World’s First Pregnant Man,” said the headlines. And beside them was a picture of a naked and bearded Thomas Beatie, with a stomach bulge that could be a pregnancy - or just the first signs of a serious Guinness habit.
The poor man - or woman - says his family have been mostly unsupportive and even doctors and nurses have laughed in front of him.
No, it can’t be easy being the World’s First Pregnant Man. But imagine what it’s like being the World’s First Pregnant Man’s best mate?
Think about it. What if your best pal suddenly put his pint down, looked you straight in the eye and said: “Hey big man, I think I’m up the duff.”
I don’t know who Thomas Beatie hangs out with over in Oregon, but, if he’s really a regular guy, his mates will need as much professional help as he does.
Over a lifetime and a tsunami of swally, I’ve counselled pub mates through every problem life could throw at them.
Marital disputes, sexual hang-ups, financial strife - Big Boab’s psychiatric bar stool has heard them all. My finest hour was probably the day I talked Freakie Freddie out of committing suicide because he thought Attila, his monster pet Alsatian dog, was gay.
“I saw it with my own eyes, he was humping wee Bertie the beagle next door,” he wailed. “My Attila is… Jackie Trent.”
It took all my persuasive skills to convince him that Attila wasn’t, as he would say, “bent”.
It was only after I explained that dogs can do it with everything from a cushion to a human leg that Freakie began to calm down.

dailyrecord.co.uk

Jericho is dead, and this time all the nuts in the world aren’t going to bring it back. CBS had hoped the fan frenzy that inspired them to revive the show for a mini-season might be a sign that Jericho was a true late bloomer along the lines of Family Guy, but ratings were actually lower this winter than they were last year at this time. It didn’t help that it was preceded by Big Brother, which would be an inappropriate lead-in even in a season where it had better ratings.
The finale (CBS, 10 PM), which will apparently give the show’s fans at least a little closure, will find Jake (Skeet Ulrich) and Hawkins (Lennie James) attempting to prove to Texas that a conspiracy is behind everything and the Cheyenne government is behind the conspiracy. The bigger question even after the credits roll tonight is whether the fervent fans that won the first time will attempt to rally again. Jericho could have been treated better by CBS — the decision to impose a Lost-style hiatus on it only two months into its run proved especially disastrous — but I’ve never understood why so many found it worthy of their energy.
American Idol (Fox, 8 PM): The top ten perform songs associated with the years in which they were born, which will likely mean (for most of them) another trip through the 1980s. David Archuleta should do “Funky Cold Medina” to get his mojo back.
Beauty and the Geek (CW, 8 PM): It’s beauties vs. geeks in a game of flag football in which someone winds up getting hurt. See, if these geeks had ever played football before, they would know the “flag” part is supposed to prevent injuries.
Dancing with the Stars (ABC, 8 PM): The first hour of two will be a recap of last night, which sounds like dangerous programming against American Idol. Hour two will finally bring our first two eliminations. Back to the rabbits-in-hats tomorrow for Penn Jillette?

film.com